Scientific Exploration for the Existence of God

By Matsya Avatara Dasa

It is time for science and religion to reconcile and complement each other; this is possible only by realizing the difference in fields of application and results of each discipline.

Prof. V.V. Raman defined science as the collective endeavour to understand the universe in a consistent and coherent way, based on reason, rationality and empirical evidence. By exploring the concept of multiverse, prof. Mann indicated thelogy and science as having different approches to address the question of what is reality; theology’s approach is teleology, a goal-oriented search for the scope of the universe, which the theologies of all traditions share; while science’s approach is ecbatology, that is the search for a necssity and/or chance for the universe as it is to emerge. The exploration of biophilic selection effects, that is life-friendly conditions, reveals that the universe seems fine-tuned for life; two possible explanations for this arise: the existence of a super-intelligent Agent, that is God, or the succession of similar attempts which sooner or later will lead to conditions conducive for live, that is a multiverse.

On the other hand the concept of transcendence in Vedic literature, is beyond space and time, as it is not a physical reality and is knowable only beyond the domain of facts and logic, specifically the domain of science. It seems therefore important to remember that scientific knowledge is basically what the human brain can make of the universe; as prof. Raman wrote, scientific objectivity is but collective subjectivity, while the universe is structured on different levels of information, ranging from a first order composed of physical and biological laws, to a superior order producing experience and reflection. The concept of consciousness, as explored by Dr. Sushant Sharma, comes to play a very important role in our understainding of reality. Alternative models of reality, as in Penrose’s quantum gravity model or in Vedanta and Yoga psychology, state that consciousnss is not a result of any mechanistic process, rather it is a symptom of the conscious living force that dwells in the body. Even the brain is treated as non-intelligent, rather it is but a computing instrument, a device that the consciousness uses to express itself.

The concepts presented by the speakers in this session, seem to address the question of what is life, and I would like to propose the exploration of such concepts also with the aid of basic views present in Vedic literature, such as the structure of reality on multiple levels (adhibautika, adhidaivika, adhiatmika) and consciousness as a fundamental attribute of the atman, the conscious, immortal living being and as the very foundation of any representation of reality.

Health and Wellness

By Matsyavatara Dasa

Nowadays, various forms of Yoga are known the world over. In numerous cases however, Yoga has been reduced to its physical aspect (asanas or postures), with scarce knowledge of its ancient original tradition, as well as its true meaning and objective. There are actually few individuals who can apply this ancient science in its globality, aware of the physical technology it has developed in thousands of years.

Yoga is based upon the wisdom of the Vedas, which reveal the secrets of the universe and of the conscience; by its inner-self technology, one can regain a real and everlasting wellness, and ultimately realize the spiritual and immortal nature of the one’s real self.

Not an escape from the world

Traditional ancient Indian literature contains elevated teachings of philosophy and psychology, but the chore is about the art of living: learning how to move in the world and relate to the creation and its creatures in a right and harmonic way. Indian sages have indicated this attitude, encompassing the spheres of thinking, feeling and acting, by the word Yoga, from the Sanskrit root yuj, which means “to join, unite, put in contact”. This contact or union, which becomes communion at the highest levels, is between the infinitesimal atman and the Supreme Being Paramatman. Yoga could be compared to a bridge joining the human and the divine dimension. Like all authentic spiritual paths, it is not an escape from the world, nor a contingent flattening, but utilizes all the physical and psychological instruments available to emancipate the creature from the limits and sufferings of the conditioned existence, and to re-discover its essence. In the view of ancient Indian thought, the imminent and the transcendent dimensions touch each other, they are an integrated extension of one another.

Yoga utilizes all the physical and mental instruments of the individual, to obtain emancipation from limits and existential sufferings.

Spirit and Matter

The material world is not in antithesis to the spiritual world. The universe is conscience in expansion; ultimately, matter is energy and its source transcends the physical dimension, while at the same time it sustains and pervades that same reality. In this stimulating perspective, the world appears as a gigantic, charming laboratory, in which the spiritual and therefore eternal individual experiences repeated joys and pains, successes and defeats , births and deaths, searching for his real identity. The veritable disease of the West is the unilateral concentration on what is external to the subject, the neglect for studies on the person and his vital necessities, which in reality extend much beyond psycho-physical needs. Once the individual discovers his place in the universe and his relationship to creation, creatures and Creator, he can again enter the dimension described by the Vedas as "overflowing with light and bliss", already during his earthly experience. Yoga is a term mentioned numerous times in the main Indian books (Veda, Bhagavad-Gita, Bhagavata Purana, and Upanishads) and in many other important works of classic Indian literature. Through the science of Yoga, the individual can participate in his real immortal nature and again draw from that inexhaustible reserve of knowledge, consciousness, and bliss which belongs to him. This realization mitigates or eliminates existential ailments, not only related to the physical body, but mostly to mental and moral sufferings.

The techniques

The most ancient forms of Yoga are found in the Veda Samhitas,specifically in the Rigveda, conventionally considered the most ancient book that humanity has knowledge of. For instance, mentions are made of mantrayoga, based on the inner and outer recitation of mantras (mantra meditation), which illuminates the deep areas of the unconscious and allows entrance to a higher level of consciousness. Among the Upanishads, 11 are explicitly dedicated to Yoga, and are in fact called Yoga Upanishads. They explain the postures or asanas, the respiration techniques or pranayama, and the ultimate goal of these ancient practices: re-establishing the forgotten relationship with the Supreme Being. They also analyze the various phases of yoga and emphasize the importance of the active process of concentration, which gives the possibility to eliminate false identifications and breaks the chains that tie to samsara, the cycle of repeated births and deaths. A relevant treatise on Yoga is found in the Bhagavata Purana, where Krishna describes to his devotee and friend Uddhava the logic meditation, by which it is possible to develop awareness of the self and of the cosmic Being, and to restore the harmony between the self and the universe, man and God.

Spiritual realization

In the Bhagavad git,a Krishna utilizes the term Yoga to indicate the perfect action, illuminated and illuminating, the one leading to a secure result, in respect of the law and support to the cosmos. The same term is used to define equanimity and balance, among the main characteristics of the evolved spiritual person. In chapter 6 of the Bhagavad-gita, which can be rightly considered a psychology treaty by itself, Krishna enounces a series of Yoga doctrines that correspond to the ones described by Patanjali in his Yogasutras. The requirements for those who are seriously interested in developing a complete knowledge of Yoga are basically two:

• Jijnasa, the intense wish for knowledge. The ideal student focuses his attention only on the Supreme objective, on the solution to existential problems, and abandons the superficial research and dispersion on thousands of different objects.

• Abhyasa, dedication, constant practice; the attitude that reserves the necessary resources and energy to the study of the self.

The Brahmasutras, another text referring to Yoga, says: Icchami Brahman, “I’m longing for Brahman”, I wish for spiritual realization: the yearning, the will, are fundamental, because to obtain good results in Yoga, it is necessary to exercise control on the senses, to dominate the mind and at the same time receive its petitions and demands without denying them. This teaching was already stated by Patanjali, thousands of years before the repression theory elaborated by Western psychological science.

Naturally, the major reference to Yoga remains Patanjali’s Sutras; they explain that the preliminary preparation to yoga practice is the ethic aspect, which cannot be disregarded. Yoga consists of three interacting phases: rigorous consistency, study of one’s self from the psychological and spiritual perspectives, and finally the rejoining with the cosmic divine order and with God. This will first reduce and then completely eliminate the sufferings from the so called material existence, allowing the person to find its perfect balance and original harmony.

A true psychological auto-analysis

Sufferings (klesha) are of four origins: ignorance of one’s spiritual nature, identification with the ego and its multiple manifestations , the fatal and inseparable pair of attraction and repulsion, and the phobic terror of death, resulting from the attachments to certain life conditions and from the conviction that the individual will die with the body.

Becoming conscious of the origin of suffering through an in-depth psychological auto-analysis is the first step to reduce its manifestations, but its trails, the seeds at the bottom of conscience, can disappear only at the end of a serious and constant work done by the individual on himself, with the help of verified elaboration and meditation techniques. Our present experience, the circumstances and situations we live in, are the consequences of our past actions, pertaining to this life or to previous existential vicissitudes. In this context, conflicts arise mostly from the error of identifying the inner witness, the self, with the object of perception, which belongs to the external world and, in varying degrees, carries the imprint of the three qualities of nature, called gunas: harmony, energy, inertia. This wrong identification is a serious obstacle, because it hinders the perception of truth. The error comes from the witness ignoring its ontological nature, therefore the person is invited to take a route towards mental decontamination and conscience evolution through the famous 8 Yoga phases, which are: abstentions, observances, postures, breath control, introspection, concentration, meditation and samadhi or absorption in Reality.

The starting point is obviously the condition of our ordinary conscience, where the mind is restless and agitated by mental dynamics which are hard to eradicate; but the science of Yoga, if practiced seriously and with the assistance of an expert, allows you to take over the helm of your life and eliminate emotional blocks and complexes. We can thus regain height towards the enlightened peaks of conscience since, as Durkheim says, the real success in mental activity is to surpass ourselves.

The constant practice of yoga techniques allows you to take over the helm of your life and eliminate emotional blocks and complexes.

Family Matters - part 3

By Matsyaavatara dasa

Question:

Wife and husband should be seen more like spiritual friends or more like "spiritual lovers"? What is the difference between the two?

If the spiritual is authentic both definitions are synonymous. But only if it's authentically spiritual, because today it is a fashion to say spiritual: "Oh, today I got to know a very spiritual person."but often people don't know anything about the dimension of the spirit. I remember, years ago, I had so much discussion on this with one person. I had to rebuke and correct him so many times. Slowly, slowly, he stopped. He had friends—some poets—that he considered spiritual but who were actually conditioned by everything: by tobacco, by alcohol, by scurrilous language; they were very conditioned. What a distorted idea of spiritual! I have explained and re-explained to him the definition of spiritual—five, seven, ten times—and it seems that lately he has grasped it. But the idea of spiritual is generally very vague, therefore it’s better to further clarify.

Let's analyze the category that indirectly emerges from your question: if the two, instead of being spiritual lovers, are carnal lovers. Then they are known as grihamedhis, which is different from grihasthas. The distinction is that for the grihasthas the fundamental goal is spiritual realization, while for the grihamedhis the aim is to get a beautiful wife or a handsome husband and enjoy each other. (Of course we know that it's only an attempt and than there is the other side of the coin.) These are the two categories. We have to make this essential distinction: does the person want to get married to increase his or her own potentialities of enjoyment, or does the person—in this case a sincere spiritualist—choose another sincere spiritualist in the form of the other gender to have a companion for the journey of spiritual realization?

Therefore we have two categories: those who pair for enjoying life better and those who unite for reciprocal help in self-realization. We exclusively deal with the second category; the first category is dealt with by sexologists, psychologists and other researchers. We are concerned only with those who try to have a family as a suitable, propaedeutical instrument for spiritual realization. The single man and the single woman may think, "By myself I can't make it."They may think that they are not yet ready to live as brahmacari or brahmacarini. Therefore they look for a person with whom to walk a section of the path together, understanding from the beginning that the aim is to help each other to obtain liberation, to obtain love of God.

In this category—the grihasthas—there could be some short-circuits at times, because the body is there, the senses are there, and the karma is there. Therefore by being close sometimes they find themselves too close, and at times there might be exchanges of affection surpassing the level allowed in the sastras. I would say that this is not a tragedy. Some people have made a tragedy of it but then they themselves created tragedies many times greater than this. Probably I won't be acclaimed for saying what I am saying but, in all conscience, I am taking full responsibility and I have solid arguments to support my theses.

Going Beyond the Conditioning of Modern Culture

The information of the media—which the mass misinterpret as progress and emancipation—doesn't stimulate at all a 'positive' process of liberation and emancipation of the human being, but an indiscriminate consumption, which only profits the great financial and industrial groups. The disposition of modern man is to be lenient, to be accommodating with the weak side of his character, to let one's own bio-psychic impulses and the external influences dominate his personality. Even if superficially he appears original, spontaneous and self-assured, in reality he is an off-centered and fragile individual, because of being hetero-directed.

Control doesn't mean repression or suppression. Repression involves an irrational fear (taboo) that impedes the elaboration of psychic energies, which are mostly unconscious. Rather, reasonable control consists in governing the energetic manifestation, with the objective of utilizing those same energies for a constructive goal. Among the innumerable examples I could make I limit myself to the case under exam: the transformation of the sexual push into a satisfactory rapport of love, process that for years I have defined from Eros to Love.

In other words, through using a well-trained willpower¹, it's possible to control the bio-psychic energy through reason (Logos). This control is the opposite of repressing or suppressing one’s impulses, as it can produce the transformation of the egoistic-destructive pushes in ecologic energy, beneficial to the individual, the collectivity and the environment. This process is defined transformation and sublimation.

The same principle applies to inhibition. The modern psychological literature—especially the one of Freudian school—has incorrectly attributed a negative connotation to the vital psychic function of inhibition. Evidence of the erroneousness of such idea is provided by scientific research in physiology, which has amply demonstrated that inhibition is a normal neurological function to better govern the organism. On the psychic plane also, to inhibit doesn't necessarily mean to suppress, but to apply a temporary brake to a reaction of the conditioned consciousness, in order to reflect on one’s behavior. To reflect means to activate the intellect, the buddhi, and to deliberate with emotional detachment on the present event without being overwhelmed by one’s urges. Inhibition is pathologic when used stubbornly, non-critically, but it is therapeutic when propaedeutic to sublimation (Bg. II-58: One who is able to withdraw his senses from sense objects, as the tortoise draws his limbs within the shell, is to be understood as truly situated in knowledge)

A person who lives the traditional values (sacrifice, work, saving, honesty, family, religion, etc.) doesn’t maximize commercial profit. To obtain maximum profit financial companies need to transform man in avid consumer, because to realize profit they need people to buy their products. Maximum profit for capital invested is given by a person who works to the maximum of his psychophysical capacity and consumes to the maximum of his financial capacity. The worker who is content leading his social or family relationships based on religious values and behavior is a bad consumer. He yields little, because to realize oneself in that way costs little or nothing and consequently doesn't push the individual to work to the maximum of his capacities. Similarly, the chaste girl who doesn't go out at night to have fun, the faithful wife who stays at home, the monk and the priest produce very little commercial profit. There arises therefore the need to create the consumerist, who seeks pleasure and entertainment, who seeks an individualistic, materialistic actualization and who frees himself from all the factors that could have inhibited such evolution, spending in goods and services whose sale produces profit. Modern culture achieved this by demolishing those ethical and social values—or motivational vectors—that checked the establishment of consumerism. Modern culture promoted liberation from duties, sexual liberation, blameworthiness of prohibitions, devaluation of the family and of family roles, emptying of religion, relativization of ethics and of authority. It created innumerable new personal fancied wants—essentially responding to the need of the industry to sell and gain: divorce, fashion, designer clothes and accessories, hankering for status symbols of every type, from classy cars to vacations in particular places.

 Rigid versus Rigorous

Many times, listening to his tapes and reading his books, I heard Srila Prabhupada say that illicit sex is illicit sex. Very true, but I have heard him thundering against extra-conjugal illicit sex and have heard him being understanding, compassionate—not approving, not accomplice—towards those who, out of weakness, break the principles in family life. Pay attention to this point: I don't approve the breaking of principles and I am not accomplice of those who break them, even within family life. But I am ready to be quite tolerant, ready to provide help to overcome these weaknesses—without an air of catastrophe, without excessive criminalization—because those instincts, if negated or brutally repressed, slide into the unconscious and create much more damage than when they are dissolved in the sunlight. One can't avoid taking them in consideration. Either accepting such instincts or rejecting them should be done consciously, with awareness. One should use all one's resources to sublimate these instincts to a higher level, the spiritual one. And even if one succeeds nine times out of ten but the tenth time bangs his head, he should try again till perfection.

There are spirit souls who are more reawakened and those who are less reawakened; those who have more success and those who have less success, but the important thing is not to embark in disasters. I believe that in the past many tragedies occurred due to interpreting things, although in good faith, in a rigid manner instead of in a rigorous manner. There is great difference between these two concepts. What is rigid is unfortunately also very fragile. What is rigorous is much better. Rigid has a negative connotation while rigorous has a positive one. A rigid, crude, hard, radical negation—which, I repeat, could be in good faith—means repression, but if these impulses don't act on the conscious level they act, and even more powerfully, on the unconscious level. In a moment of distraction or in a moment in which our perception of God is a little hazy, in a moment of tiredness or in a moment of disappointment, these impulses surge out like a torrent overflowing its ridges and flood our consciousness. And the apparently faultless person becomes abominable.

This is a school of life. We have to learn the art of living. We have to be comprehensive towards the needs of others. We should help all those who are sincere but conditioned and with weak willpower to canalize and orient their urges upwards—without brutally negating them. If one is addicted to tobacco, let him smoke a cigarette once in a while. If one is an alcoholic, let him drink a glass once in a while. If one is addicted to sex, let him have an intercourse once in while. In this way the mind organizes itself to do always better, to improve. If a devotee is helped, cared for and inspired spiritually, receiving guidance and mercy by the spiritual master and understanding by the vaishnavas, and behaving sincerely, then this process will lead to a purification of one’s samskaras and desires. Bhakti is especially meant for the correction and transformation of one’s deep, unconscious tendencies (vasanas). Brutal negations are a terrible teaching and it's for this reason that great thinkers have classified also organized religion—or rather the Churches—as one of the neurosis-generating environments: family, work and religion. Religions, when interpreted rigidly, to the letter, are dangerous means of serious conditioning, of neurosis, but religion, when explained by the spiritual master, sadhus and realized persons, is an extraordinarily effective means of spiritual realization.

In the same 'tree' category there are hundreds and thousands of different trees, similarly there are many different human beings. We can't make one law for everyone and make it so rigid that it doesn't work for anyone. There must be general moral definitions, but they can’t be applied in the same way to every individual. We should have general definitions because man lives in community, is a social being and can't negate his social needs. General definitions drive the group to grow; comparison among peers generates the drive for improvement, also among spiritualists. But even in law, the general definitions are not applicable to all individuals in the same way. Therefore the legislator—in our case the spiritual master, the Vaisnavas—has to understand the peculiarities of each person. The law remains one for everyone, but there should be personal considerations in the application.

Question:

I would like to verify if I understood properly: we should see our spouse as a person who is helping us dissolve that attachment that is not spiritual—and which causes damage—and therefore we see him or her as a friend, with a sentiment of reciprocal help. This relation is like one of the various camps established in climbing a mountain, right?

 Yes, if you feel alone and incapable of reaching the summit you might be overcome by desolation and by anguish. You might lack the energy to even start the climb. But you do have the desire to reach the summit and therefore we are not talking of grihamedhis but of grihasthas, whose aim is spiritual realization. Sometimes it's necessary to make this journey in two, because by oneself one doesn't have enough strength, even psychologically. It's crucial that the spouses remind each other of why they got together. When a spouse has a difficult moment, the other must remind him or her of the original motivation in a consistent way. Otherwise, if they both forget, they go somewhere else.

 Question:

It's about continence, abstinence from sex. Sometimes the couple fails to control the sexual urge and becomes so "confidential," so familiar that they reach a point where they don't value each other any more; they can't see each other's good qualities anymore.

 This is a very interesting question. There is a confidentiality that doesn't diminish respect. That's confidentiality on a spiritual basis. When familiarity becomes excessive and it's reduced to the material plane, it inevitably creates disrespect and causes disappointment. Step by step this darkness envelops the zone of light until the relation is largely consumed, depleted. During the excitement, the enthusiasm of the moment one doesn't perceive that this is happening, but it does actually happen. One whose vision is sufficiently detached—but attentive, profound, discriminating—can understand when this happens. Therefore we should try to define what love is, because this helps a lot, it helps enormously in creating categories. Life needs categories; otherwise we don't understand what's happening.

yasya deve para bhaktir

yatha deve tatha gurau

tasyaite kathita hy arthau

prakacante mahatmanau

 "Only unto one who has unflinching devotion to the Lord and to the spiritual master does transcendental knowledge become automatically revealed."

(Svetasvatara Upanisad 6.23)

In the path of bhakti, love is defined as the sentiment for guru and Krishna. Just like food has to be inserted in the mouth; there are innumerable other ways of inserting food but they don't work. One could make little balls of rice and stick them in one’s ears, but it doesn't work. One could even try intravenously, and also in that case there would be nourishment, but it won't give pleasure and real strength. Srila Prabhupada said: "We teach all men to love Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. If you learn how to love Krishna, which is very easy, then immediately you love every living being simultaneously." (Letter of 10th March 1970) Only the unflinching love for God gives the strength to love all other creatures. This is an essential point; the capacity to love all others is the result of loving God. Otherwise love undergoes devolution, degeneration; it becomes egoistic. Slowly, slowly it shrinks to the level of ahankara, false ego, the reflected self, the atma reflecting on the mental field.

What is the ahankara? It's the sum of all the psychic contents with which we identify. Love in this form shrinks to the minute field of the psychic contents, thus practically negating all the real needs of the living being. The effect of love for God, or love "in God"(yasya deve para bhaktir—deve is in the locative case) is not like falling inside a well and getting locked up. Love of God multiplies in love for the husband, for the wife, for the children, for the parents, for the neighbors, for the so-called enemies and for the so-called friends. Therefore through bhakti we can enter into respectful affection. There is morbid affection, which has no respect—think of the pedophiles and the rapists. Criminologists working on the psychological profiles of criminals, would assure that they always talk of affection, of an overflowing affection, but they often cause huge disasters. Love of God is that affection that bubbles over, overflows, and benefits everyone.

Pull quotes:

 This is a school of life. We have to learn the art of living.

I believe that in the past many tragedies occurred due to interpreting things, although in good faith, in a rigid manner instead of in a rigorous manner.

When familiarity becomes excessive and it's reduced to the material plane, it inevitably creates disrespect and causes disappointment.

1 As for the development of any other quality, either physical or mental, also for willpower a discipline is needed (sadhana-bhakti). The efforts will be abundantly repaid, because a wise, well-developed willpower ensures success in all human activities.

A Conference in Perugia on Karmic affinities and affectionate relationships

Perugia, a historic city and the main town of a fertile and open region, welcomed Marco Ferrini who, on January 31st, held a conference titled: “Karmic affinities and affectionate relationships” which took place at the well known Sala dei Notari of Priori Palace.

 

A great number of participants from different ages and social- cultural backgrounds, listened with great interest to the topics and took part to the program of questions and answers with a lively participation.

In relation  to the Traditional Indian culture, the lecturer explained the concept of karma, according to it, each  action produces a specific effect,  determined by the spirit of acting.

The teachings of ancient Wisdom explain that each human soul  is not only made of matter and psyche, rather, its most precious and essential constituency is made of spiritual nature. Different “electromagnetic and psychological” fields spring from its psychophysical structure, and, consequently,  in relation to their nature and quality, other fields of attraction originate.  For this reason people are born in the same family, because of “karmic affinity”, depending on performed experiences and on the consequent psychological formation and level of consciousness which were originated.

The karmic load is the result of  the sum of the consequences of ones actions.  It is evident that  a good action will not generate the same consequences as a bad action which will harm others with the purpose to achieve a selfish target.

The highest goal of existence is to reach the understanding and growing inside, step by step along the Journey of Life, a kind of compassionate Love that allows us to relate to others in as much constructive and evolutionary way as possible, so as to reach the highest level of pure devotional Love for God and for all creatures, the real source of happiness, as shown by the great acharyas of the various spiritual authentic Traditions.

 

The purpose of man is realizing his divine nature, with the understanding of the importance to live without making enemies and without damaging any other living beings because we are all part of the same common divine origin.  We should grow  in goodness, respectfulness, tolerance and show compassion for all creatures, realizing our deep instances, while releasing the conditionings caused by the  distorted and egocentric perception of our self, which is the main cause of sufferance and personality disturbances.

Family Matters – part two

Dealing with Illicit Sex

By Matsyavatara dasa

Question: In ISKCON we are taught to follow the four regulative principles, among which avoiding illicit sex is often the most crucial one. However, there are situations where one member of the couple doesn’t agree on practicing sexual restraint, and this could lead to the drastic break-up of the marriage. What can be done in such cases?

This is a burning issue, which requires an honest and urgent clarification. It is not the first time I talk about it, but so far I have done it only with very intimate students.

According to my understanding of Srila Prabhupada’s teachings, I distinguish between two categories of illicit sex: the first is pre-marital and outside marriage—they belong to the same category—and the second is within wedlock, between a regular couple united before God, with the authorization and blessing of the spiritual master, who sanctifies the marriage. Both categories are classified as illicit sex—to use the classic terminology—but for me there is no comparison between the consequences of extra-conjugal illicit sex and those from illicit sex within a religiously constituted couple. The term “illicit sex” is used to point out that sexual organs are not toys and, for both men and women, their proper function is procreation. Sexual organs are parts of the body with a precise function, and every other function is improper or “illicit.” Having said this, the embodied being experiences many conditionings, arriving to this body with a huge karmic load of samskaras¹ and vasanas.² For some people, therefore, the urges could be so strong that, despite all good intentions, there could be some lapses. But one thing is the lapse occurring within the married couple, and quite another thing is the lapse outside marriage. Outside the regular couple the failure is disastrous, both personally and socially, whereas within the regularly constituted couple the damage is contained—but I am still talking of damage, don't misunderstand. There is no comparison between the two damages. By the mercy of the divine grace, I have always strongly stressed the importance of following the regulative principles, and I am not talking like this to promote a different behavior, a different standard. I do believe that those who seek spiritual realization and aspire to develop pure love of God should strictly follow the regulative principles, and therefore should not engage in illicit sexual activities. At the same time, in my many years of experience counseling people, I have witnessed a lot of suffering caused by the uncritical, uncompromising application of the law.

People live on different planes of consciousness: it is exceptional to find two people on the same level, even if they both sincerely desire to become devotees at the same time. In a couple, there is often a partner who makes quick advancement, while the other might remain stationary for some time. This usually generates a gap. I have been advising couples for more than twenty years to help each other, be patient and tolerant. If one of the two needs help, the other should offer it generously. Perhaps I have not stressed this enough… I consider that one should rigorously follow the regulative principles, but I am now talking of cases that could lead to serious turmoil in a family and usually leading to betrayal. I don't want to suggest that anyone should abandon the principle of purity, but it should be understood that people can be cured through constant love and affection. If between husband and wife there is real sincerity and friendship, in some measure there will also be real love and affection; if there is the willingness to overcome one's limitations, some careful concessions can be excused, thus avoiding very big, serious and irreparable havoc.

In my answer I limit myself to saying that we shouldn't put extra-conjugal illicit sex on the same level as the occasional weaknesses in married life. Considering them the same would show a lack of spiritual comprehension and maturity and a misunderstanding of the function of controlling sexual energies. To rectify a person—to rectify the character, to cure a disease—we need to follow the path of recovery. An expert doctor always knows how to administer the medicine. I am not surprised or astonished if a young couple of my students once in a while indulge in effusions that go beyond the limit. Of course, I absolutely don't encourage such things because they dissipate emotional resources and increase bodily identification, distracting the devotee from the real purpose of life: Krishna-bhakti. At the same time, I am in my late fifties and I have some knowledge and experience of psychology, I have seen people who have rigidly negated their impulses for a long time and later—even in the guise of renouncers—have abandoned their religious vows.

Repression and Sublimation

Whoever represses his sexual instincts without being able to sublimate them—which means increasing his sadhana and connection to guru and Krishna—won't be able to resist long enough, and will inevitably head for a falldown. These falldowns could be so serious that the individual thrown in such a state of moral and spiritual prostration, might not be able to rise again, at least in that lifetime. As the Vaisnava scriptures explain, only a few people in this age are already so elevated that they can immediately and completely abstain from sexual activity. The majority of people need gradual distancing, protected by the institution of marriage and regulated by the four principles—the necessary groundwork for ethical life and the pursuit of spiritual realization. The management of emotions requires great competence and maturity, both cultural and spiritual. The guidance and direct assistance of the spiritual master is therefore essential, especially in crucial moments of life, when one is called to make fundamental choices (e.g.: choice of asrama) that, if wrongly handled, could jeopardize or stop spiritual advancement.

Both repression of instincts and indiscriminate indulgence can produce neurosis and serious personality disorders. Our Vaisnava literature explains that psycho-physical energies, indispensable for the journey towards transcendence, should be neither negated or repressed, nor indiscriminately dispersed; they should be correctly used, beneficially and propaedeutically to the development of personality. In other words, they should be sublimated by engaging in devotional service. Hari-nama japa and nama sankirtana, Deity worship and spiritual association are the best means to overcome problems of lust.

Experience teaches us that through the discipline of bhakti-yoga it is not only possible to sublimate impulses—by the elimination of their self-destructive unconscious charge—but also to re-integrate them on the plane of pure consciousness, as divine rasa. Otherwise, when one gives in to such impulses without discrimination, they obnubilate and obscure the consciousness, provoking confusion, frustration and suffering; they enslave the subject in ephemeral conceptions and bodily identities, in destructive tendencies and instincts. The science of bhakti aims at the exact opposite: making the person fully conscious of his divine nature, his own relationship with God and an instrument for everybody’s well being, including his own.

The second and third chapter of the Bhagavad-gita teach us that whoever represses certain impulses but keeps cultivating attachment for the sense objects in the mind—persisting in their contemplation and internally longing for them—won't succeed in the path of yoga.³ We need to learn how to dissociate from the sense objects also psychologically, transcending the problem, and for this there is a discipline or a route to follow, with arrangements and methods that partially differ from person to person, according to the various states of consciousness and psychological conditioning. Such different arrangements are obviously all finalized to reach the same objective: overcome bodily identification and selfish gratification, and develop pure bhakti.⁴ Krishna says that discovering a higher taste is necessary to abandon the inferior, conditioned and conditioning taste, source of multiple sufferings, and to reorient physical and mental dynamics. "The embodied soul may be restricted from sense enjoyment, though the taste for sense objects [the desire for them] remains. By experiencing a higher taste and ceasing such engagements, he becomes fixed in [Krishna] consciousness."⁵

Right and Wrong Decisions

We should try to be honest and serious, first of all with ourselves. We should have a balanced vision and not accept the people’s vow of lifelong celibacy at a young age, without having shown tangible signs of maturity and dominion over the senses. This maturity should be on different planes: cognitive, emotional and behavioral. A choice that is the best in absolute terms, can produce serious damages if made at the wrong time, due to the person's lack of preparation. If not properly helped, the person who incurs in such difficulties generally develops a sense of self-failure and a heavy sense of guilt, which eventually cause inhibition, depression, emotional blocks and a stop to spiritual progress. This sense of guilt can be defined as pathological, whereas a healthy and beneficial sense of guilt arises when the person is aware of his mistakes and deeply repents them, finding in himself, guru and Krishna, the energies to rise above them.

Regarding such sensitive issues, specifically connected to life in the grihastha asrama, over many years I have noticed a vast symptomatology and many damages produced by hasty decisions and a rigid mentality. Many marriages have failed because the person experiencing difficulty in restraining the senses—when confronted with an overly rigid partner—has looked for satisfaction outside the marriage, starting love affairs and betraying the spouse, thus producing a hellish condition for all the people involved.

I recall a whole list of rigid people who first ruined their family members and then ruined themselves. Real affection means to come forward to the needs of others, and I believe that every real need in the family has to be taken into serious consideration. If a person thinks that he or she can't or shouldn’t concede anything, absolutely nothing, such person should not get married. And if he does get married, throughout his whole matrimonial life he will be bitterly reminded that he should not have married. Couple means two people, two people who promise to help each other for the rest of their lives. If one is in need and the other doesn't help, I don't know how this refusal could be beneficial for his spiritual advancement, and how it could be done in the name of devotion for Krishna. Of course there can be embarrassment, little enthusiasm and whatever else, but something has to be done to help.

I have seen so many cases of conflict and I have come to the deep conviction that there must be a mediation, there must be reciprocal affection, reciprocal care. When the desire for intercourse assumes a dangerous psychological proportion—producing a "fixed idea," a true neurosis—we should act as with any other disease, looking for a remedy and a cure. When I acted as a direct witness and I advised people in this way, they often solved their problem brilliantly, gradually finding balance, detachment and serenity, discovering a type of affection that was not based on sexual intercourse. Real affection, spiritual affection, has no need for sexual intercourse or physical contact. Such affection is the achievement of the target of bhakti, and is obtained after a long practice; it is not a starting point. At the beginning the couple might endeavor to overcome the problem, but to rise above it, the effort must be equipped with enough capacity and experience, and above all enough cultural and spiritual maturity in Krishna consciousness.

Cultural Conditioning

I spoke about religious duties, but now I wish to mention the cultural environment where each of us—consciously or unconsciously—lives. Over the last century, Western culture has been increasingly fascinated by rationalism and materialism, progressively polluting itself with a pseudo-scientific literature⁶ that has considerably contributed to the development of a dangerously permissive sexual behavior. Such literature has induced people to think of eroticism and sexual acts as something physiologically necessary, comparing sex desire to the need for food and air. Not only they have presented the satisfaction of such an urge as inevitable; they have even declared that whoever neglects it will develop psychological disorders. It is difficult to calculate the extent and harm that such mentality has caused and is causing. It is truly a social and psychological plague, both on the collective and on the individual level.

Spiritual Affection

On the plane of spiritual realization, of spiritual affection and friendship, sexual intercourse becomes totally needless, extraneous and artificial. But, as we know, people acquire perfection after long efforts. According to sastras, a married couple that can transcend illicit sex is on the direct, true path towards perfection. Until there are distractions, spiritual realization is overcast and shadowed.

Besides the authoritative sastric statements in this regard, the results of scientific research made by some American universities (Wisconsin, 1968) demonstrate that numerous couples can live well without sexual intercourse, provided they cultivate their interest for elevated ethical values.

First of all—as I said at the beginning of my answer—people should try hard to abstain from extra-conjugal sex, because this generates hellish conditions in the society, in the family, in the couple and in the relationship between parents and children. Such illicit connections, metaphorically speaking, create hell; they create great embarrassment and pain; they condemn children to experience distress and harmful life-models, and condemn the spouse to anguish and deep suffering. Illicit sex in family life is like giving methadone to a heroin-addict. Methadone is better than heroin (extra-conjugal sex), but better than methadone is to rise above the problem. Methadone also creates addiction, but not as strong and devastating as the addiction created by heroin. Illicit sex in family life creates dependence, addiction and identification with the body, besides being a great waste of energy—but there is no comparison with illicit sex out of the wedlock.

When my students intend to get married I ask them to get to know each other very well, and should thoroughly inquire about the other's choices and priorities in life. They should become deeply aware of the responsibility, the obligation, and the onerousness they assume in getting married. Then I become the witness, and I commit myself to help both of them to overcome all the difficulties and to face their responsibilities, which include economical, social, and emotional aspects. These are all comprised in the sphere of family responsibility and, consequently, of spiritual realization.

As I told you many times, ultimately to solve this type of problems the real solution is to seriously adopt a Krishna conscious mentality... But now I believe I should stop here with the answer. Obviously, given the magnitude and complexity of the theme, this answer will not satisfactorily exhaust the various topics touched, but it will merely serve as an orientation tool for deeper study and meditation.

11. Traces or engrams in the memory that determine the conformation of the deep psyche or unconscious, and which are the origin of mental tendencies and automatisms.

22. Latent tendencies that condition the individual character and behavior.

33. "While contemplating the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment for them, and from such attachment lust develops, and from [frustrated] lust anger arises. From anger, complete delusion arises, and from delusion bewilderment of memory. When memory is bewildered, intelligence is lost, and when intelligence is lost one falls down again into the material pool." Bhagavad-gita 2.62-63.

44. The Supreme Personality of Godhead said: "O Partha, when a man gives up all varieties of desire for sense gratification, which arise from mental concoction, and when his mind, thus purified, finds satisfaction in the self alone, then he is said to be in pure transcendental consciousness." Bhagavad-gita 2.55.

55. Bhagavad-gita 2.59.

6 See the Freudian literature on the topic of libido.