The role of will power for the harmonization and development of Personality, determination and perseverance (2/2). By Matsyavatara das (Marco Ferrini)

Self-determination and

Perseverance Exercise.

Determination is a state of mind that can be cultivated and developed with a right predisposition. Like all mental states, determination arises from psycho emotional factors and attitudes like:

1. Desire. In the presence of a well defined and intense desire it is easier to develop and maintain determination for the pursuit of the target we aim at.

2. Definition of Purpose. Knowing what a person wants is the first thing, and perhaps the most important one, to develop self-determination. A strong motivation will help to overcome initial and unpredicted difficulties.

3. Self confidence. Trusting our own abilities to achieve a target, will encourage us to follow our program with determination.

4. Program definition. Organized programs, even when they are not well defined and focused, will encourage determination and strengthen perseverance.

5. The accuracy of acknowledgment. Knowing that our projects are based on solid reality and experiences that attain to our evolving nature, will favor determination. “Presumption of Knowledge” opposite to “real knowledge”, will weaken determination.

6. Cooperation. Empathy, tolerance, comprehension, harmonic cooperation among members of a team will strengthen determination for each member or element of the group.

7. Will power and planning capacity. Constant practice of will power and concentration on our thoughts – in a profitable manner – for the definition of a project, with the intention to schedule the targets we aim at, will develop determination.

8. Habit. Determination is the straightforward result of our mental frame, of a habit, of a deliberate performance, of an action used as a constant conscious behavior pattern. Our mental frame is modified in relation to our actions that, even unconsciously will influence the psychological structure with behavior models that are acquired and represented automatically in accordance with the adopted and acquired schemes. Fear, one of the worst and most powerful, destructive emotions, can be cured by the voluntary repetition of acts of courage. All the people that have made this experience know it well enough.

The role of will power for the harmonization and development of Personality, determination and perseverance (1/2). By Matsyavatara das (Marco Ferrini)

By analyzing, the relation between the inner self and will power and, on the other hand, the various psychological functions of the mind, we can very well notice how strong the link between will power and the inner self is: it is almost an identification of one another. Furthermore, by using will power, the self works on the other functions of the mind, governing and directing them. We are open to consider the existence of other two relations: firstly between the spiritual self and its reflex as a distorted self, the ego: the total of psychological contents in which the subject identifies himself. Secondly, between the individual (spiritual) self and the cosmic Self, the Supreme Soul or God for religious believers and theologists. Whereas the first relation is often contradictory, because the soul interacts with a distorted image (with the ego, the historic and transitory personality), the second version instead, related to the cosmic Self, is blessed, it is the source of complete harmony, of ecstasy. The problem of which will power to privilege depends on the relation we choose, either the first or the second one.

The unconscious process does not have a will power of its own, it is rather a self automatism, we cannot see its movement with our visual power, nor examine it with a rational thinking. However we can experience the existence of a dynamic process for which it functions spontaneously by responding to inputs that we provide for it with our conscious thinking, with or without a voluntary deliberated action. Our conscious thinking chooses the targets, selects the material, makes calculations, values and comes to a conclusion and, generally without knowing it, activates an unconscious process. Through the power of will – that represents the most immediate and direct function of the ego personality - we can produce a mental image of the target we aim at. It works straight forward in the subconscious in order to achieve its purpose, even though we do not know the way it works.

The conscious thought is not the doer of the material result, but it makes the mechanism work. Therefore, by acting here and now in the most ethical and correct way as possible (dharmya) the unconscious process is able to reach spontaneously the best results, without making any efforts. This is the reason why by acting properly and trustfully here and now, there is no need to worry about the future, because the targets will be achieved by the unconscious process that has been activated. The will power works at its best when we provide for the initial start- up and we let the unconscious elaboration to carry on naturally and spontaneously.

In order to fulfill a satisfactory and lasting success by using will power, we have to act accordingly, with no concern for the final result, rather by dealing with the psychological functions. As a matter of fact, the best way to use will power occurs when we activate and direct all the powers of the mind.

Before acting, likewise the physical world, the complex system of the ruling laws is taken into account, similarly before an action of will we need to consider the psychological dynamics and the ruling laws that such action implies.

Faith, discipline, courage, interest, optimism, to favor either an evolutionary or destructive purpose, will strengthen the power of will and vitality. Futility, pessimism, frustration, resentment, remorse, envy, jealousy, fears, nostalgia: they activate destructive dynamics that reduce the power of will, vitality and, as a consequence, the perspective of life. In turn such kind of attitude will accelerate the aging process. Every person in life feels the urge to satisfy fundamental needs, by following and realizing them in a healthy and ethical method (dharmya) they favor the development of will and strengthen it.

These major needs are:

- giving and receiving love

- finding and giving security

- being able to express one’s own creativeness and encourage others to do so

- feeling one’s own value and appreciating the value of others

- living new experiences and encourage others to make new changes

- developing self esteem and trusting mankind and divine providence

- living with a wholesome and fulfilling sense of satisfaction, inspiring others to do likewise

How to build up constructive and lasting relationships. By Matsyavatara dasa (Marco Ferrini)

People suffer for not being able to bring harmony in relationships and at the same time tend to start new conflicts due to their conditionings. There are more people suffering from relational difficulties than people suffering for the wars or for epidemics and, on the other hand, good relationships are the biggest patrimony we can build up for our well-being; and this doesn’t cost anything. Experiencing peaceful and tension-free relationships is the very basis for building up relationships set on a shared system of values and lofty principles. These are the grounds, while the top of the structure is made up of common purposes and of the mutual reliance on the fact that nothing can ruin the relationship anymore, not even the hardest trials or difficulties, because we don’t bring forward any suspects, doubts, misunderstandings, but, on the contrary, estimation, affection, love rule the relationship. The duration of a relationship is not the only principle on which we can judge its quality. What really makes the difference is a constructive and developing attitude.

On which basis should we found our relations?

The human being is struggling between his impelling need of freedom and harmony on one hand, and the strings with which he constantly binds himself through his bad choices, on the other. It’s a terrible paradox: we wish we could be free and happy, but we continue to bind ourselves through our own actions. For this reason human relationships are that difficult, and only few people are able to manage them at the best. Our personality is on the way: we build it up trough our decisions, one after another, and for this reason it’s essential to learn how to act with a clear consciousness. In this growing process of harmonization, our willpower has a central role. If we manage to use our willpower properly we can understand the great truth the rishi convey to us: the difference between being and not-being, between life and death. The worst suffering is caused by a situation of struggle between opposites; if we experience this situation inside ourselves, we can’t help bursting it out even outside, on our relationships with the others. Contraposition tears. It’s an engagement to make our opposite parts dialogue with one another: it implies the wish of becoming disciples of enlightened guides, because if we continue to judge people and situations from our limited subjective perspective, we will never be able to cross the threshold of our limits. In the Bhagavad-gita Krishna explains that the one who relies on Him with faith has an unbiased vision. This equanimity is the essential presupposition to cultivate good relationships. Samah darshinah is “the one who has an impartial vision”. Darshana is inner vision, the only one that allows us, despite the differences we perceive externally, to join us to the essence. Differences refer to immanence. Equanimity is the natural impulse when we experience the transcendental dimension. Even more, in the Gita Krishna says: “The one who sees everybody inside Me and Me inside everybody, is extremely dear to Me”: this is the very basis of equanimity. In the origin nobody is, from an ontological point of view, good or wicked: everybody is good. The one who has a vision which transcends time, loves the spiritual essence of any person, without disregarding the personal historical experience of that particular individual in order to understand how to relate with him at the best. Another essential element to keep good relationships is having a bent for forgiveness. The one who feels offended by the mistakes of others, often going wrong in judging his own responsibilities and those of the others, isn’t able to build up harmonic and deep relationships. If you don’t practise a spiritual discipline, you can easily mistake an ant for an elephant or vice versa, while a wise person isn’t prone to distortions; on the contrary he is an expert in the art of all arts: forgiveness. We are conquering our own freedom when we practise forgiveness in all circumstances, when we forgive small as well as big mistakes. If we learn to forgive small mistakes, step by step, we will be able to forgive even big mistakes. Another important ingredient to build up healthy relationships is the ability to understand the peculiar characteristics of the others, accepting the diversity. To do this, first we have to know ourselves deeply. In relationships concerning love we should not burn out the stages: we need to act gradually. Prudence is the life of relationships. Step by step we should try to identify the elective affinities which link us to the others, the only ones which can connect us deeply. Excitement makes us move jerkily and makes us experience the hell in this world, being unable to weigh what are the right decisions to take. Without an orientation we experience an everlasting anxiety. If we act frenetically, we lose a far-sighted view, while the control over our impulses is the essential basis to recover harmony within ourselves and with the world.