How to build good relationships

PART II

The loss of awareness of our original essence results in a deep dissatisfaction and inner deterioration. People do not behave in a bad manner because they just wish so, rather because they are dissatisfied within.

How can we help people to feel satisfied?

Sensitiveness is not enough to empathize with the others so knowledge and discipline are required.

What about those people who do not even show sensitiveness?

We may learn to acquire, develop, find sensitiveness, which in Latin is called pietas. Sensitiveness can be found in atman, our spiritual matrix. We cannot trust the mind because when external circumstances change, our mental frame modifies consequently. For this reason we have to help people to start an inner search, to rediscover their real self. In this way, by developing such awareness, we can face the situations that otherwise could have become our limits, according to the changeable circumstances of life.

Our relations should not depend on external circumstances, we ought to learn to overcome them.

A great daily effort within needs to be done if we want to achieve this target. By conquering the inner enemies one after another, we lead ourselves to steadiness, tolerance, peacefulness. By practicing such attitude we learn not to react automatically to events, provocations, offences, abuses.

A person needs to modify one’s point of view. One may wear a heavy shield to protect oneself, but it will not be strong enough because it is only by switching and elevating our point of view that we reach a steady and broad inner confidence.

We miss a great deal of life which cannot be reproduced in the present span of time, if we carry on to identify as real what real is not. By modifying our point of view, our efforts, our dedication towards such an elevated mission will unveil to us the meaning of living.

It is not easy to succeed because we were born with a superficial mental attitude, with prejudices and tendencies acquired through behaviors we have brought back from previous lives. Performance of actions are pressing from our subconscious and lead us to repeat the same old mistakes. Therefore we need great care and attention to avoid circumstances that may put us at risk.

A person does not learn by punishment, rather by improving through education on an ethical and spiritual level, so that one may distinguish and filter between experience and its interpretation and between experience and reaction to events.

The Science of Meditation (part 4). By Matsyavatara dasa (Marco Ferrini)

The Collective Unconscious represents the World of Archetypes, of Symbols where an American, an Indios, a citizen of Cape of Good Hope, an Eskimo or a Chinese have same essential systems of reference: actually, this is the universal nature of symbols.

The concept of memory or remembrance, in Sanskrit smritaya, becomes crucial as what can be remembered on conscious or unconscious level. Memories are all the more conditioning when deeply situated in the unconscious mind; if a conscious memory or thought can be temporarily and voluntarily put aside by the person who is trying to concentrate and focus on something else, an unconscious memory, just because of its nature, cannot be directly and consciously dealt and it will affect and act upon the person. Such experiences, registered in the deep unconscious (karmashaya), are known as samskara, where sam means “together” and kara derives from the Sanskrit root kr and means “to do”; these experiences are neither positive nor negative per se, but their importance is due to the powerful influence on the individual, who, generally speaking, wrongly thinks to be the sole author of all his actions. Similar experiences attract themselves and produce deep grooves in the unconscious psyche, authentic paths along which the individual retrace same steps. These psychic grooves represent the individual inclinations, vasana, that also are neither positive nor negative. Hence, unconscious often acts upon us without knowing, driven by our inclinations that can be for Art, Science, Harmonization or Abuse, Peacefulness or Bellicosity; obviously, in order to really master ourselves, we have to clean up our minds thoroughly and to sweep away especially the negative inclinations. There are very precise and effective techniques, that enable a voluntary transformation of the unconscious elements; this willing action is fundamental to start the meditative process. Just so, we can free our intuitive capacity, “the way of the heart”, that will be cleared only if the heart will be adequately purified. Actually, in order to bring to light the reality of ourselves, we cannot base our knowledge on sensory perception that represent just 0,1% of the external and internal reality, and it cannot even be based on the information circulating within the society, especially in this society where we live, highly technological, completely extroverted, aimed at exterior projects and where opinions are often prejudices. The critical capacity is properly represented by the practice of Socratic dictum “I know that I do not know” that invites questioning, to not accept something as a priori just because observable through the senses or logical reasoning, to doubt in a constructive manner one’s own deepest convictions. So it is possible to transcend the concept of reality anchored in the material and psychic world, to overcome the mere rational function and the intellect that has “short wings” as Dante says, rediscovering our pure intuitive faculties that are typical of childish psyche, that underlie modern scientific research processes. From this perspective, we do not refuse the intellect in general - “the good of intellect” still paraphrasing Dante - since it is a precious means of investigation if not abused at the expense of other cognitive channels , but it must be properly used to get as free as a pole vaulter who, after having made the swing faster, puts off and releases the pole to fly away. All great discoveries are made by brilliant intuition, just later Positive Sciences as Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry will verify them experimentally, in order to make them clear to everybody, besides who conceived them. To explain, to share with others one’s own discoveries or realizations are feelings relevant to compassion, karuna, and to transmit them in a persuasive manner and with typical respect in the spirit of offering  is fundamental for collective and individual growth, since what is offered to others will be given back to us. The best way to do ourselves good is to be doing good to others by offering what is most precious to us.
The actions we have taken affect us in an extraordinary way , releasing a photocopy in our minds that is embedded  in our psychic structure; whatever we do, whatever we say, think, desire leaves a trace. Hence, in reference to  Great Teachers and Connoisseurs of the Psyche, of Human Soul and Human Being, but above all of Man’s Divine Nature and Prison (quoting Plato and not despising  the physical body), we can affirm that we are where we are since we desired, thought, said and acted in a certain way. This vision is apparently deterministic, whilst in constant evolution: in the very moment we are talking or that you are reading, the change of our comprehension and samskara has already begun. Every desire, thought and word give birth to relevant and corresponding material manifestations.