How to build good relationships

PART II

The loss of awareness of our original essence results in a deep dissatisfaction and inner deterioration. People do not behave in a bad manner because they just wish so, rather because they are dissatisfied within.

How can we help people to feel satisfied?

Sensitiveness is not enough to empathize with the others so knowledge and discipline are required.

What about those people who do not even show sensitiveness?

We may learn to acquire, develop, find sensitiveness, which in Latin is called pietas. Sensitiveness can be found in atman, our spiritual matrix. We cannot trust the mind because when external circumstances change, our mental frame modifies consequently. For this reason we have to help people to start an inner search, to rediscover their real self. In this way, by developing such awareness, we can face the situations that otherwise could have become our limits, according to the changeable circumstances of life.

Our relations should not depend on external circumstances, we ought to learn to overcome them.

A great daily effort within needs to be done if we want to achieve this target. By conquering the inner enemies one after another, we lead ourselves to steadiness, tolerance, peacefulness. By practicing such attitude we learn not to react automatically to events, provocations, offences, abuses.

A person needs to modify one’s point of view. One may wear a heavy shield to protect oneself, but it will not be strong enough because it is only by switching and elevating our point of view that we reach a steady and broad inner confidence.

We miss a great deal of life which cannot be reproduced in the present span of time, if we carry on to identify as real what real is not. By modifying our point of view, our efforts, our dedication towards such an elevated mission will unveil to us the meaning of living.

It is not easy to succeed because we were born with a superficial mental attitude, with prejudices and tendencies acquired through behaviors we have brought back from previous lives. Performance of actions are pressing from our subconscious and lead us to repeat the same old mistakes. Therefore we need great care and attention to avoid circumstances that may put us at risk.

A person does not learn by punishment, rather by improving through education on an ethical and spiritual level, so that one may distinguish and filter between experience and its interpretation and between experience and reaction to events.

How to Build Good Relationships

Every our action implies a feedback from others (as a rule, the response we get is very much the same as our approach, whether it has just happened in the present or it happened in the past), this is the meaning of relationship.

A:B = C:D

The relation between A and B, affects the relation between C and D too. We are all connected in the big game of life.

It is just through the relationships that we have the possibility to express our divine nature, that is developing and experiencing our best original spiritual qualities. However we can experience a lot of sufferance as well.

Our inner well-being greatly depends on the way we trust people in the relationships and the way others respond to us. A sensible, caring person usually realizes within a short time, whether his or her words, actions and even thoughts has a positive or destructive effect on the others.

When a person suffers and seeks relief, compassion and trust, turning to somebody who can help, how can one find the cause of sufferance? Where do disbelief, depression, pain or negative feelings come from, what is missing? The deep cause is often rooted in the relationships.

Everything in the universe is ruled by the divine laws and this order is based on a dialogue, as Galileo’s quote recites: “Dialogue between Two Chief World Systems". Dialogue re-establishes an order, and such order should govern our relations too, so in any dialogue the first priority is to meet the needs of other person through attentive listening and sincere interest.

The more virtuous relations are, the higher is their quality and greater the standard quality of listening and speech skills.

Sattva is order, virtue, harmony. It is the condition that most of all favors our evolution. It is a conditioning state, it is not complete freedom, therefore even sattva guna is to be transcended. The conditioning that arises from sattva guna is the feeling of attachment to a kind of freedom that is always anchored to a mundane layer, in spite of a prevalent virtuous nature. Someone may think: sattva guna is good enough for me, because I am satisfied with one kind of pleasure and one kind of mundane virtues. However a person cannot be satisfied with this vision because there are negative sides and sorrows that cannot be avoid with sattva guna alone, unless one ascends to a spiritual awareness.

Among such sorrows, which cause a great deal of sufferance, is old age. Aging is a heavy humiliation because the person is not able to take care of one’s own basic personal needs, and sattva guna itself cannot free us from such great pain. Sattva is the condition we can easily obtain in our embodied life, although we ought to make another step forward to approach transcendence, in order to reach the abode and original nature of our spiritual eternal Self.

Remembering Shrila Prabhupada

 PART II

Due to God's mercy, Shrila Prabhupada was able to undertake the adventurous and difficult missions to satisfy the desire of his Guru Maharaja. He knew how to deal with risks, dangers, loneliness, sickness and temptations... Krishna blessed Shrila Prabhupada with such a success that, while originally owning nothing, his movement gradually reached a huge development, comparable to that of the richest and most envied companies, but even so Shrila Prabhupada remained always the person of the great inner qualities: no pride, no arrogance, no material ambitions or futile interests. He was exactly the same person when He went, with only 40 rupees in his pocket, to America, always dedicated to love for Krishna and for all creatures. Shrila Prabhupada had many talents, he was versatile, with great skills, but He was first and foremost a pure Devotee of the Lord.
He loved everyone, because in Shrila Prabhupada's opinion everyone was a potential devotee. He had always the same mood and the same tone of voice, sometimes He got vibrant, speaking with strong words, sometimes He reprimanded, sometimes He praised, sometimes He was moved, but His interest was always to improve the understanding of the devotees, their health, the image of the Movement. We must unmask the so fashionable artificial way to see an Acarya as detached from everyone and everything. Prabhupada was very interested in the success of the various services, he cared about everything working and running the best way, thus satisfying Krishna and encouraging the spiritual elevation of so many people.
Spiritual life does not mean a cold, detached attitude towards the world, we cannot live without relations, without affection, without empathy, without love. We just have to be careful to those we direct these feelings to. We should not prioritize what calls on the material level, but strive to fulfill our spiritual desires that represent our true essence. Prabhupada had Krishna in His heart and He was always thinking of what he could say or do to bring people closer to God. Krishna had a special relationship with Shrila Prabhupada who had a special relationship with Krishna: this was visible in every activity He had undertaken, either in those particular moments when, for example, He took the initiative to modify a service that maybe was stagnating, or when in the last days of life in this world He was brought in front of the Divinities on a palanquin because He was in a condition of extreme physical weakness and He could no longer walk. In every circumstance Shrila Prabhupada has proved to be a pure devotee of Krishna.
When I read the Bhagavad-gita, chapter twelve, shloka 13 to 20, I see Shrila Prabhupada. I have known many lovely devotees, but Prabhupada is the model for me.
Prabhupada was always connected to Krishna and helped everyone to offer their talents and energies to the service of the Lord.
The most beautiful part of Shrila Prabhupada is his being so devoted!
He was good at many things: a very good cook, a grammarian, a great preacher, a prominent philosopher and scholar; He was expert in playing music and in offering praise to the Lord, but His main feature was the pure and ardent devotion to God and His constant commitment to the spiritual education, in order to help others to become pure devotees of the Lord. Great it was, and surely still is, the satisfaction of Shrila Prabhupada to see people take seriously the path of Bhakti. And this satisfaction is the source of strength to all those devotees who carry Shrila Prabhupada in their heart.
Despite the apparent departure the Acarya lives forever with us, if we live with Him. As Satsvarupa Maharaja says in his book: "He lives forever ..."

Remembering Shrila Prabhupada

PART I

In the sacred occasion of the departure of Bhaktivedanta Swami Shrila Prabhupada, we pray Shri Krishna to empower us with strength so that we could carry in our hearts the example of His extraordinary life, character, deeds and works forever. Those who were able to witness His life and teachings, had the greatest luck to testify the changes in their lives and in the lives of so many people.

These transformations are the great events from which we can draw an inexhaustible inspiration: Shrila Prabhupada gave us the opportunity to live in the spiritual awareness. The path traced by Him is followed by hundreds of thousands of people, and the most favored are those who welcomed Him in the heart, dedicating their service to the realization of His dream, that is make available the love of God to as many people as possible regardless of race, creed, culture, social position, politics or religion.

36 years ago Shrila Prabhupada left His physical body and this material world to return to where He came from, the spiritual universe. We pray Bhagavan Shri Krishna to give us the purity to be able to celebrate His glories properly. By celebrating His glories we become aware of his greatness, and becoming aware of the greatness of a pure devotee of the Lord, we can experience the greatness of God. In this way, practicing the nine paths of Bhakti, we can realize our divine nature and become purified from the distortions of psychic structure and its conditionings.

We take this special opportunity to increase our sincere attachment to the lotus feet of Shrila Prabhupada, to humbly serve His teachings and His way of life so as to bring us closer to Him and to Shri Krishna through the nine paths of love mentioned before.

Shrila Prabhupada allowed hundreds of thousands of people to transform their lives by changing their vision, allowing them to get rid of the identification with the material structure that covers their eternal Self. Shrila Prabhupada gave the possibility to understand the difference between the spiritual Self, the body and the mind and to realize the divine potential of each person regardless of age, gender, social status and culture. The term Acarya means exemplary. Through His example and model of life, Shrila Prabhupada made the teachings of the Shastras feasible.

A person can take the Bhagavad-gita, read some sublime passages and reflect: "How nice it would be to live like that, but who is able to? I would not be capable of doing that for sure." We need a model, an example, there must be someone who lives the teachings of the Bhagavad-gita constantly, faithfully, coherently, and joyfully. The sacred work becomes a person, and the highest aspirations become applicable in our lives. It is exactly what happened to all of us. Why? Because Shrila Prabhupada experienced Bhakti so intensely and joyfully, no matter what life presented to Him in terms of ordeals, difficulties and obstacles to overcome. His relying on Krishna at all times without ever becoming fatalistic allowed this great Acarya to live in this world in pure spiritual consciousness. Faith is not a fatalism, it is an evolutionary creativity for searching the best solution for the existential problems; if we direct our efforts towards the spiritual evolution with commitment and faith, such solution will appear as Paramatma in the heart, as well as through the expert guidance of the Spiritual Master in the outer world.

The Real Success.

The  experiences of accomplishment that one can reach in her or his lifespan, sometimes can be conflicting with the self-image, possibly being the one of an unconfident person, a weak individual, too reliant on someone else’s opinions. If this self-image will not change, the outer accomplishment will be followed by inner troubles and unsteadiness. This is because the new higher equilibrium is such only when it is achieved with harmony and stability. To avoid this kind of situation one should conceive and support a self-image corresponding to what one would like to be and should be. If one will shape her or his personality in depth, then this person will be psychologically ready when an accomplishment or a better position will be achieved. Conversely, some individuals are afraid of their own success because they have not built yet an objective and positive self-image.

Powerful desires move things and alter reality. A person becomes what she or he craves to be. Egoistical ambitions do not lead to real accomplishment: the apparent success sooner or later will turn into calamity.

The immature management of resources and of desire's energy produces derangement and deep emotional troubles. Any waste and any improper use of the above is the cause of personal failure.

Anything we have: objects, affections, talents, must be employed to reconnect ourselves to the deep divine matrix, the raison d'être and foundation of our existence. If we do not do this, as explained by Shrila Rupa Gosvami, one of the greatest Vedic Tradition Master, anything gets contaminated and turns into poison. 

The perfection of existence (yukta vairagya) can be archived if we are closely connected to the Istha Devata and place all our resources to its service. Ambarisha Maharaja was the sovereign of the world, in spite of this he was not ruling it for his own egoistic enjoyment, but as a tool to serve God.  In order to run suitably that function maturity and awareness were needed, because who has so much energy can do great good things, but, if one is not cautious and do not have uncontaminated motivation in the way this energy is used, can cause great damages and bring harm to himself and everybody nearby. 

The most valuable resources, never to be neglected and never to be abused, are our fellow human beings, with their desires for advancement, their wishes for good, their projects, with their search for self-realization. We should not dare to waste even the smallest bit of their energy, we have to support instead their convergence, channeling, and sublimation toward elevated motivations of real good and real success. Sublimation will be possible if we encourage for taking a solid commitment for spiritual activities, with an active and energetic service offered with awareness and dedication to our spiritual Master and the Istha Devata. According to one of the most important and recurrent Shrila Prabhupada’s statements: "Bhakti Yoga is not just an idle meditation". Nor meditation means escaping from the world.

 Authentic meditation inspires and motivates actions in the world, and it is able to solve real problems, to disentangle knots that grew in the mind. Authentic meditation does not evade or remove practical problems: it resolves them. It is based on the consciousness of spiritual matrix of all things, and the understanding of the subtlest psychological phenomena: how minds get entangled or stuck, and how it is possible to jump-start them, reactivate them, and purify them.

The Great Departure.

Dear devotees, please accept my obeisances;

All glories to Shrila Prabhupada and Shri Shri Radha Govinda Deva.

Jaya Shri Shri Nityananda Gauranga!

Jaya Shri Jagannath, Shri Baladeva, Subhadra Maharani Shrimati!

I hope to find you in good health and spiritually inspired.

Some days ago my dear disciple - Omkrishna Mataji - left the body and this mortal world and headed for the supreme eternal abode of Shri Krishna.

The two sons, daughters in law and grandchildren attended to her all the time in high spiritual consciousness, lovingly and with devotion.

Besides being herself a sincere devotee, Omkrishna Mataji had the great blessing in this life to live in a family of special devotees, all of them very dear to me.

One of her sons was next to her at the very moment she passed away, and has accompanied and sustained her by chanting uninterruptedly the Holy Names.

My most fervent prayers go to this disciple so dear to me, who was always cheerful, playful and joyful, who was so moved every time we met, and I’m also asking you to pray for her too.

I pray she can soon play happily in the company of Lord Krishna and His eternal companions and friends.

With deep emotion,

Matsyavatara dasa

School of Life: How to Learn from Good and from Evil.

The Sacred Texts tell us that without receiving mercy from the Spiritual Master and from the Supreme God it's impossible to overcome for good the egoistic attachment toward mundane things. In order to succeed, not only we need to have received divine benevolence, we must have kept it too.

In which way we can receive mercy? Firstly by seeking it ardently, and behaving consequently, by dedicating ourselves with diligence and faith to spiritual practices and so awaken Love and Awareness.

And in which way we can keep it? By offering it to others. Then and only then, through constant and coherent efforts toward achieving Bhakti in our lifespan, we will be increasingly able to discriminate reality from illusion, the essence from appearance, the eternal from ephemeral.

Mice see the cheese but not the trap. In the same way conditioned souls see the promises of pleasure in this world's things, but hardly can understand that this pleasure hides a trap. A mortal trap.

How to be detached from the world and its overwhelming beauties? How can we resist when we see something appealing, pleasing, good smelling and shining? We should think about it in connection to God. It is difficult to deny this world; the more we deny it the more we are attracted to it, risking to become hypocrites who refuse the world's attractions outwardly while inwardly craving them (Bhagavad-gita III.6). Therefore we should not refuse this material world's beautiful things, but to use them to serve God with Love, correlating them to our spiritual origin, and living them in the vision of eternity. Accordingly, in any circumstance of our life we can connect to the Lord and to our deepest spirituality. Even bitter experiences, the biting words we received, the mistakes we made, at the end can turn into gifts, only if we can learn from the lessons they offer us. Gratitude and appreciation can permeate everybody and everything appear in this world, because we make use of every experience to get closer to God.

This gratitude can be felt and can be expressed both when we receive "good things", and when we get "bad things", being conscious that the light of the day cannot be appreciated without the night's darkness.

As you would expect, it is necessary that we learn how to discriminate between vice and virtue, between good and evil, so we can choose once far all righteousness and be firm in sattva-guna, but also we must be aware that Reality is beyond. It is that pure spiritual dimension in which mundane good and evil are transcended, and they merge in the "sommum bonum": the supreme goodness beyond duality. And supreme goodness is unconditioned pure Love that change and purify everything. Such dimension can be reached when any desire we have becomes an offering to the Lord and all our perceptions are dedicated to His service.

By living in this perspective we will find treasures around each corner, hidden in any occurrence of our life. And we will walk toward death full of gratitude because we understood that by practicing Bhakti even death leads us to life.